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DasUberCow
Age / Gender:
21, Male
Location:
Happy place.
Joined:
11/23/07
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Bluuuurb. PM me for free sex and gaming advice.

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All righty then... picture this if you will...
10 to 2 am, X, yogi DMT, and a box of krispy kreme's in my "need to know" pose just outside of area 51, contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my birkinstocks, and me yelping "holy fuckin' shit!"

then the X file being, looking like some kinda blue green Jackie chan, with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa, did a slow mo matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel, and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was, "I hope uncle martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants!!"

so light in his way, like an apparition, that he had me crying out...
"fuck me! It's gotta be the dead head chemistry. (the) blotter got right on top o' me. Got me seeing E mutha fuckin T!

and after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said. "you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning for those who do not." Me! The chosen one. They chose me!!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!!

Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes. Don't even know what that means. Must remember to write it down.
This is so real. Like the time Dave floated away. See, my heart is pounding. cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.

It was so real. Like I woke up in wonderland. all sorta terrifying. I don't wanna be alone while I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real. Finally it's my lucky day See, my heart is racing cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.

You believe me don't you? Please believe what I've just said. See, the dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head. see they took me by the hand and invited me right in. then they showed me something. I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head am I alive? Am I dead.
Can't remember what they said. God damn. Shit the bed.
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position...
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending.
to write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen. Shit the bed again. Typical.

Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red.
I'm out of my head am I alive? Am I dead.
Sun kissed and Sudafed Gyro scopes and infrared
won't help. I'm brain dead. Can't remember what they said.
God damn. Shit the bed.

Can't remember what they said to me.
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero.
Can't remember what they said.
Bob help me.
Can't remember what they said.

We don't know and we won't know.
God damn shit the bed.

Rosetta Stoned.


Recent Game Medals

lol brawl reference 5 Points ROFL ROFL ROFL Medal Stats.
Legal Ending 25 Points Break out the legal way. Medal Stats.
Sneaky Ending 50 Points Break out the Sneaky Way Medal Stats.
A WINNER IS YOU 25 Points Beat the game. Medal Stats.
Bad Transit 10 Points Defeat TRN-1 Medal Stats.
Guardians 5 Points Defeat the Footie Twins Medal Stats.
Master 50 Points Launch 25 miles (132,000ft) Medal Stats.
Traveler 50 Points Total over 1 million feet Medal Stats.
Abducted 25 Points Get caught by a UFO Medal Stats.
Professional 25 Points Launch 10 miles (52,800ft) Medal Stats.


Total Medals Earned: 24 (From 5 different games.)